I need you tonight... cause I'm not sleeping.

And I still can't get over you, are you someone I'll forever miss?

I'm sick.
Again.
I try to stay "home" as long as I can, listening to music and trying to learn stuff.

What I really want, though, is someone's kiss. I don't have a particular someone that I want to kiss. Just someone that doesn't care I am sick. Doesn't care I caugh. Doesn't care he may also get sick by kissing me.

And as I walk from the nearest pub where I had some quick lunch to home I try to remember how many times that has happened to me. I manage to recall two particular instances. As I wonder about it and try to figure out what those two particular people had in common, I find out they actually had a lot in common.

Then I remebered how much one of them meant to me. He meant the world to me, literally. And when we decided ours cannot go on anymore, I remember how hard I took it. Months passed until I was able to walk the streets not thinking about him. Months passed until I was able to have a normal conversation and would actually be able to listen to what people are saying and response accordingly. I was like the bunny in that old joke, that laughed at a certain joke 20 minutes after.

I get back home and my dear Winamp guesses what my thoughts are and plays "Days Go By"

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you.

Now that guy is one of my closest friends. One of those friendships in which the both of you may not have spoken a single word to one another for months, even more, but when you actually have the chance (or the need to), you are able to discuss everything, like you talk everyday. I most certainly claim I love him. Not in the "being in love with him" meaning, but in the "I actually care for him and have a great respect to him, wishing him all the best and would not want to lose his tracks ever." way.

And now to the other guy. Weirdly I remember that the last time I managed to keep him away the same song had come to my mind (wow, I actually use past perfect. I never would have guessed I would ever need that tense :) ). And I felt the same way. It's a good song for letting go. Letting go without having to hate or forget the person. Letting go and still keeping warm feelings towards him/her. Letting go and still having love in your heart for him. Letting go and not flushing away all that you once felt. Letting go and respecting "everything that felt so right and is now wrong, now that the love is gone".

I am not ready to let go yet, but I am convinced it is the only way. It is a step though.

Letting go is not an easy thing.