Be careful Preston. You're treading on my dreams.

But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Equilibrium, 2002

HAD I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

William Butler Yeats
Aedh Wishes For The Clothes Of Heaven

I was originally looking for a nice quality video with "Requiem for a dream"'s Summer Overture...
Cause I got a little bit confused by people liking Britney's new song. Oh, Britney has a new song, by the way :)
But then, as they say - all roads end in Rome.... And I got my hands on a nice video of Equilibrium. This one:

But the sound doesn't really fit to the movie. I mean, c'mon Christian totally saved the day in the end. Though I kept hoping for a more "Brazil" ending eventually. Well, anyway.... Here is my favourite Equilibrium videclip. Ever.
I present you - Equlibrium, Numb (Linkin Park).

Or is it? Numb is too angry - just battles, battles, battles.... It really fits the ending, but is the movie really about it's happy end? Hm. Take a look at this:

I love LP. And just considering the thought I ended up listening to them because of Britney Spears?

Anyway, Have a Happy New Year.

Conversations With a Maniacally Depressed Personal Computer

Dear Silviya,

I know that watching "At World's End" while outside is an ABSOLUTE STORM is actually quite exciting.

The storm sure looks more interesting when there are actual lightnings and thunders outside the window... And the saturating rain (storm) sure adds to the picture more naturally.
Yesterday you watched the first part with sun outside the window and it sucked, I am sure of it...

BUT!
Did you fail to notice, that at a certain point there was a circuit and I shut down? *OUCH*.

So, please, please, stop using me while there are severe storms outside.

Thank you


Your loving personal computer,
Marvin.


----------------------------------------------


Dear Marvin,

Your purpose is to serve me. If you, however manage to get actually killed during a storm that would mean your stupid old video card shall finally die and I shall have a reason to change it. So please be nice, and work when turned on.

Thank you


Your loving owner,
Silviya


---------------------------------------------

Dear Silviya,
I am happy to hear how much you love me and want me to be healthy. I am happy to hear how much you love my video card, too.

BUT!!!! Have you failed to notice you NEED me at least for your exams and you will not go running in the storm to buy a new video card if mine just happens to fry itself as you type my thoughts?

Please, be more considering.

Thank you


Your loving computer,
Marvin

---------------------------------------------

Dear Marvin,

You have a point there.

Thank you

Your loving owner,
Silviya.

---------------------------------------------

Dear Silviya,

When you realize I am right, why do you keep me turned on?


Your loving computer,
Marvin

---------------------------------------------

Dear Marvin,

You still have a point there.


Your loving owner,
Silviya

---------------------------------------------

Dear Silviya,

I wish I could die now.
Seriously.
Just to prove a point.


Your loving computer,
Marvin.


---------------------------------------------
Dear Marvin,

I love you.

Your loving owner,
Silviya

I need you tonight... cause I'm not sleeping.

And I still can't get over you, are you someone I'll forever miss?

I'm sick.
Again.
I try to stay "home" as long as I can, listening to music and trying to learn stuff.

What I really want, though, is someone's kiss. I don't have a particular someone that I want to kiss. Just someone that doesn't care I am sick. Doesn't care I caugh. Doesn't care he may also get sick by kissing me.

And as I walk from the nearest pub where I had some quick lunch to home I try to remember how many times that has happened to me. I manage to recall two particular instances. As I wonder about it and try to figure out what those two particular people had in common, I find out they actually had a lot in common.

Then I remebered how much one of them meant to me. He meant the world to me, literally. And when we decided ours cannot go on anymore, I remember how hard I took it. Months passed until I was able to walk the streets not thinking about him. Months passed until I was able to have a normal conversation and would actually be able to listen to what people are saying and response accordingly. I was like the bunny in that old joke, that laughed at a certain joke 20 minutes after.

I get back home and my dear Winamp guesses what my thoughts are and plays "Days Go By"

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you.

Now that guy is one of my closest friends. One of those friendships in which the both of you may not have spoken a single word to one another for months, even more, but when you actually have the chance (or the need to), you are able to discuss everything, like you talk everyday. I most certainly claim I love him. Not in the "being in love with him" meaning, but in the "I actually care for him and have a great respect to him, wishing him all the best and would not want to lose his tracks ever." way.

And now to the other guy. Weirdly I remember that the last time I managed to keep him away the same song had come to my mind (wow, I actually use past perfect. I never would have guessed I would ever need that tense :) ). And I felt the same way. It's a good song for letting go. Letting go without having to hate or forget the person. Letting go and still keeping warm feelings towards him/her. Letting go and still having love in your heart for him. Letting go and not flushing away all that you once felt. Letting go and respecting "everything that felt so right and is now wrong, now that the love is gone".

I am not ready to let go yet, but I am convinced it is the only way. It is a step though.

Letting go is not an easy thing.

It's too late to swim back. We're closer to the other side

Anton: "Where's the shore? We're too far out!"
Vincent: "You wanna quit?"
Anton: "We're too far out!"
Vincent: "You wanna quit?"
Anton: "No!"
...
Anton: "How are you doing this Vincent? How have you done any of this? We have to go back."
Vincent: "It's too late for that. We're closer to the other side."
Anton: "What other side? You wanna drown us both?"
Vincent: "You wanna know how I did it? This is how I did it Anton. I never saved anything for the swim back."

Once upon a time...

... a friend of mine who is a windsurfer once told me that I would make a perfect windsurfer myself...
I laughed at him, of course. Cause that is one of the sports I always wanted to try, but would never manage to. Talking about impossible :)



Why did he think so? Because I seem to have the right attitude:

It was great but... so what?

If your pager don't vibe
Then you'll know it's me
Vacation's over, don't take it personally

It's only "uh-uh"
It don't mean nothin'
Hot summer "uh-uh"
A little sweet somethin'
Lose my number
Heat of the moment
It was great, but
So what?
It don't mean nothin'
Its only "uh-uh"

*not missing you*

This little fellow was lost on 12th of August 2007 at about 2 a.m.
I don't miss him a bit.
Just that I was looking through my files and found these pictures of him.
He used to hang on my phone, Silvester.
He was a gift to me by Zoya for 14th of February.
I really liked it.

I lost it while I was with Dimo.
I remember the exact moment when it fell.
I felt that it was RIGHT not to pick it up.

I still feel it was right to leave it there.

Sofia University or something like it....

For some time I've been having this interesting arguement with Dimo. I claim I study at the FMCS(Faculty of Maths and Computer Science.... Not FMI - Faculty of Maths and Informatics), and not in the Sofia University (SU). He says that I make no sense, cause since I study at a faculty of the SU, that means I study at the SU....

Now, how I am to convince him he is wrong?

It turned out (just as I expected) to be quite easy. Unfortunatelly, people who don't study at the FMCS wouldn't quite get my reasonings.

Lets' start with the fact that in FMCS it is a common practice that students teach students. Students that are in their 2nd year teach students that are in their 3rd year. Students in their 2nd year teach a subject, the exam on which they have not yet taken (due to their regular curriculum) to students that are in their 3rd year. I personally don't know if that is allowed anyplace else in SU. Not sure, but I even think it is forbidden.

Let's move on to something else, that I was pointed out during the campaign of getting yourself a room in SU's dorms (actually getting yourself a bed, but that's a whole another matter). It doesn't matter what your grades are, you cannot be in the lists of people that get a room, if you have more than one exam not taken. Which, I looked upn pretty surprised, since in my faculty you are perfectly fine allowed to move on to the next year of your education if you have no more than 2 exams not taken so far... So, I looked up the UNIVERSITY's book of rules and I saw that this rule (of my faculty) is in a direct conflict with the major rules of the university - the university's rules are as simple as this - only one exam. So, you still say I have the right to call myself a student in SU? (well, I AM, but anyway...)
And it gets even more complicated, cause by a (non written) rule you have the right to have two "mandatory" subjects not taken so far and one of the "chose yourself" list.... So we have not one, but three subjects.... Nice!

Our univerity's dean says that everyone has to return the exam sheets not later than 3 days after the exam session is over. Nice. This is prefectly working in his faculty, where there are 5 subjects to chose from for the whole faculty. And is so not working in FMCS, where there are 150 subjects to choose from (each semester that is!) and (almost) everyone can sign in for them... And everyone is - 5 majors, each having students of years 1 through 4, with average of 4 groups each (major) of about 20 people in a group. Now, try to make the schedules of those exams so that everyone could attend their exam and none has exams at the same time (I am not even trying to put the rule "one exam per day") and you only have 20 days to fit in (during the exams session)... Don't even try - it is impossible. And it is impossible not to have a subject before/after the exam session.

....

I can go on forever. Really.
As a most recent prove:

(in Bulgarian, sorry): In the meantime, all of the university's buildings had the signs with the words "Stealing from the University is a disgrace for Bulgaria." on them in the morning.
Now look at the pictures and don't be fooled by the words on top of my faculty:

In front of FMCS there is no such sign. :)

And yep - I study in a yellow building (as a rule madhouses in bulgaria are often refered to as "the yellow building"....

Angelina Crow vs Silviya

A couple of months ago Dimo sent me a few pictures of a certain porn actress that, he said, looke exactly like yours truelly. Needlessly to say I was curious about her.

For a couple of weeks I was bugging him to send me the whole movie. Well, finally he bent over and it is under my possession. The "film" is one of the worst I've seen the "home made" low-quality ones, and the guy she's with is totally disguisting....

But, as I told Dimo, I was not interested in looking at the guy, but at the girl. Well, she's cute. And, in the name of the Force, she's young!!!! I cannot say we look alike, but there is a certain resemblance. If I try I can get her looks. Which I may try as a matter of fact ;)

I shall not be too harsh on Dimo, though. As he said - he hadn't seen me for (over) 2 years.

Now, let the pictures speak:





and some pictures of myself :

And all I want for Christmas...

Is it too much if I ask for this for a Christmas present? What about my birthday....

*speechless*
Really - I always loved the "look at me, I am so Michael Hutchence" look Dave used to have back by the times of "Walking in my shoes". There is something about men and long hair, drug-addictions and sex and alcochol years...

Girls may never admit it, but there has always been this thing about bad guys...

*sigh*

*steals Dave*

*forbids him to EVER grow old*

Here We Go Again

INXS - Strangest Party

Welcome to the strangest party baby
It's like we're staring at the sun
Everybody's got their invitations
Hopin' that you're gonna come yeah
These are the times
Times
These are the crimes
Crimes
What are we waiting for
What are we hating for

You're part of the solution
Or part of the problem
You're gonna have to dance with one
You're giving up on
The future honey
I'll count you out of having some

Here comes the rain
Yeah here comes the rain yeah

These are the times
These are the crimes
What are we waiting for
What are we hating for

Wash away the rain yeah
Into the blue sea yeah

These are the times
These are the times

Dyscalculics Count Too...

Spread The Word:

What is it about:
Source at Dyscalculia Forum Dot Com

The Basic Facts
Dyscalculia is a specific learning disability in mathematics. Dyscalculia is a word you use to describe when people have significant problems with numbers - but still have a normal or above normal IQ. It seems that no dyscalculic has problems with math alone, but also struggle with problems being able to learn to tell time, left/right orientation, rules in games and much more. Also, there are more types of dyscalculia, and all types demand specific learning methods aimed at the specific problem.

Is Dyscalculia A Real Thing?
Dyscalculics say it is. Teachers say it is. WHO and DSM say it is.

How Common Is Dyscalculia?
According to UK studies done by Gross-Tsur, Manor and Shalev in 1996, 6.5% are dyscalculic. According to studies done by Lewis, Hitch and Walker in 1994, 1.3% are dyscalculic while 2.3% are dyscalculic AND dyslexic - that means that according to this study 3.6% of the World's population are dyscalculic.

That gives a total of between 3.6 and 6.5% of the World's population. And again: That means, according to these two studies, that between 216 000 000 (two hundred and sixteen million) and 390 000 000 (three hundred and ninety million) people are dyscalculic - if we say that there are 6 000 000 000 000 (six billion) people in the world. No international study has been done on how common it is.

"You Can If You Want To!"
Probably followed by "and if you try hard enough". This is a typical remark from teachers and parents to motivate the student - and although it can be meant in the BEST way possible, it is not true when it comes to dyscalculic students. The thing a dyscalculic wants most in this world is to be able to understand those numbers. Dyscalculics need different learning methods, in every aspect of the assignment. Dyscalculics are able to learn how to calculate something one day, only to discover that the information has been forgotten the next day. In other words programs like Kumon, where repetition is a major part of the teaching methods seem to have no result for dyscalculic students - they forget. Through different learning methods aimed specifically at the student and his/her version of dyscalculia can have great results.

Simply Red

I have tons of favourite songs.
...
And those are songs I really care for.
...
That take me and bring me to places I've been, often making me smell the presence of certain people that bear the spirit of the song.
...
Those are songs that stay in a playlist on the most visible spot on my desktop.
...
And that are never ever ever removed from my portable music player.
...
If you know me you should already know that songs and I come together.

Some of my very favourite all-time-in-love-with songs can be found here with their respectfull videoclips, stolen shamelessly from youtube.com
http://community.livejournal.com/lip_sing/

There are though a certain number of songs that are worth more due to their videoclips.
Those I used to search for with years, equipped with my remote control and an empty videotape.... Oh, the good old days :)

Now there is youtube and a lot of apps like it, that grow more and more each day and make my stalker abilities .... well vanish.

But I am not really complaining, because the next song is now just a keyword away.
And it is Simply Red's wonderfull "The Air That I Breathe" which has one of my top 3 favourite videoclips EVER.

Maybe because I've seen it only once and it made a huge impression on me. The scene with the fish just won me years ago...

Beautif song, beautiful videoclip...

Enjoy:

In my mind....

I aways found it funny how my life is directed on the ideas I have about certain things. Thinking about why I always get the "end-of-August-depression" I realized I have a weird perspective of how the calendar year "looks like", that most people don't.
Take a look at it.



I am going to quote the image:

1. Notice how the first four months are sorted backwards - starting January from top right to April to top left. I am not sure where this came from, but I guess it originates from an effort January to stay closer to December. It may seem weird they way it looks now, but if you try to imagine May through August on the left side, you may get the idea of “cyclic” perspective.

2. May through August are the best months, because it is summer and I live by the sea. They are separated on the right part, to signify they are special months. I tend to look on them as a single “month” although May is not par ot of the summer season. It all flows from May to August.
Notice how this is not true for the first four months - they don’t “flow” into one another and in my mind there is a distinct border between them. That border is there for September through December, too, but to a much, much smaller scale. It is not there for the “summer part”.

3. The end of August has always been too hard for me, cause there is a huge gap between it and September, as you may see. I always feel as something is about to crash and burn. There is a really distinct, and often painful line between August and September.

4. There is a lot more to be said for the way I see the calendar year, but these should be the 3 major points.

I also have weird ideas about other everyday things that most people don't tend to notice. I guess it is based on my pretty damn good visual memory that sometimes gives my mind a hard time...

I find it amuzing...

... how some applications think they are smarter than they actually are.

The classic example is everybody's favourite Microsoft Word, which manages to re-define "annoying" everytime someone, somewhere uses it.

Next in my list is ICQ, which denyes my right to have a taskbar on top, rather than on the bottom of my desktop.

Last, but not least is Firefox, which I use for years and its super-intelligent phone add-in, that thinks it can recognize phone numbers. Of course, it can't. Take a look:

Depeche Mode

It's mid-August. Every year by the time mid-August knocks on my door, three things are due to happen:

1) I am feeling sad, cause the summer is about to be over.

2)

I wish for a white Christmas, like the ones I used to know.....

... I want it to be cold, snowing... And I want a Christmas tree, preferebly with a cat that plays with the toys :)

3) I want to be home alone in my dorm and organize a Depeche Mode party for all my friends.

.... And when I say every year, I mean.... every year well, Numero 3 only for the last 3 years, but it still counts. Usiually on point 1 I am totally helpless and as a result for a few days I am as gloom as a thunder cloud and impossible to talk to. Point two leaves me clueless too - I'd often find myself with a bunch of old magazines with beautiful Christmas tree suggestions, and tons of promises to myself along the lines of "next Christmas will be REALLY pretty"... Needless to say those promises last until mid-September.

Number three is more complicated. Usually what I can do is wait till I go back to my dorm (meaning mid-October) and organize that party myself. It hasn't been done so far, mostly because although my friends listen to Depeche Mode, most of them don't know more than 10 of their songs. And usually like about 3 or 4.... *blargh*

And it's about time I got all three. Including the "Depeche Mode" mood. The worst is I just saw that there will be a Depeche party in a local club. It is bad, because most of my friends won't be in town at that time, and whoever is in town.... well, let's just say I don't have any hopes anyone would come with me on that party.
I bet I'll just get a bottle of rum and just listen to Depeche Mode at home, which is like 0,00000000000...00000000001-th of what I actually want to do.

Cathing up

I know it is silly, but I decided to (really) keep two of my "blogs" the same, just with the language difference. So a little catching up is needed.

First of all, I happily share with you my greatest masterpiece so far (insert irony somewhere in between the last few words) - I made it to 4rd year! Big congratulations for me, and I actually managed to (almost) get the best of it... It's official - I am OLD!!!!

I thought of leaving livejournal, cause I don't really feel I have anyone out there. This here is not a personal thing. The other is. If I have a personal thought to share, I'd probably do it there or on a white sheet of paper. Livejournal was for my closest friends to share and discuss thoughts in not-real time. Nowadays they are all away from LJ and we get to discuss things in not-not-real time. So no need of sharing them in LJ, really. I've had some great moments there, but it doesn't look like it should go on. Dunno... Maybe.... One day, who knows.

And last but not least - I hate it when the summer is about to end. Like in mid-August. *blargh*
But I am happy now and I shall not let anything ruin my happyness. Even people who think the world has been created for them and it's everybody else's role in life to serve them and generally be inferior to them. *sigh*

.... I guess that's it.


p.s. This is NOT a place for personal thoughts. If you want some - contact me.

Hello World

Never really liked first times. Especially when it comes to first "hello" posts. Besides I never really made a first source code that says "Hello World", so sue me.:)

BUT it is true that I haven't done it in a loooong time and I should remember what it used to be like. Back in the old days I think it was something along the lines of "Another dinosaur bites the dust"...

Anyway, it seems that wherever I go I kinda gather interesting people around me. The last time even I got surprised of the beautiful result. To be honest so many people were around I got the rush of running away. and that explains why I am here...

Side note - I shall try to keep the Bulgarian and the English versions of this.... "thing" ... generally the same, let's see how good I shall manage to do it. :)


That's all folks...

Hello World