Be careful Preston. You're treading on my dreams.

But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Equilibrium, 2002

HAD I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

William Butler Yeats
Aedh Wishes For The Clothes Of Heaven

I was originally looking for a nice quality video with "Requiem for a dream"'s Summer Overture...
Cause I got a little bit confused by people liking Britney's new song. Oh, Britney has a new song, by the way :)
But then, as they say - all roads end in Rome.... And I got my hands on a nice video of Equilibrium. This one:

But the sound doesn't really fit to the movie. I mean, c'mon Christian totally saved the day in the end. Though I kept hoping for a more "Brazil" ending eventually. Well, anyway.... Here is my favourite Equilibrium videclip. Ever.
I present you - Equlibrium, Numb (Linkin Park).

Or is it? Numb is too angry - just battles, battles, battles.... It really fits the ending, but is the movie really about it's happy end? Hm. Take a look at this:

I love LP. And just considering the thought I ended up listening to them because of Britney Spears?

Anyway, Have a Happy New Year.

Conversations With a Maniacally Depressed Personal Computer

Dear Silviya,

I know that watching "At World's End" while outside is an ABSOLUTE STORM is actually quite exciting.

The storm sure looks more interesting when there are actual lightnings and thunders outside the window... And the saturating rain (storm) sure adds to the picture more naturally.
Yesterday you watched the first part with sun outside the window and it sucked, I am sure of it...

BUT!
Did you fail to notice, that at a certain point there was a circuit and I shut down? *OUCH*.

So, please, please, stop using me while there are severe storms outside.

Thank you


Your loving personal computer,
Marvin.


----------------------------------------------


Dear Marvin,

Your purpose is to serve me. If you, however manage to get actually killed during a storm that would mean your stupid old video card shall finally die and I shall have a reason to change it. So please be nice, and work when turned on.

Thank you


Your loving owner,
Silviya


---------------------------------------------

Dear Silviya,
I am happy to hear how much you love me and want me to be healthy. I am happy to hear how much you love my video card, too.

BUT!!!! Have you failed to notice you NEED me at least for your exams and you will not go running in the storm to buy a new video card if mine just happens to fry itself as you type my thoughts?

Please, be more considering.

Thank you


Your loving computer,
Marvin

---------------------------------------------

Dear Marvin,

You have a point there.

Thank you

Your loving owner,
Silviya.

---------------------------------------------

Dear Silviya,

When you realize I am right, why do you keep me turned on?


Your loving computer,
Marvin

---------------------------------------------

Dear Marvin,

You still have a point there.


Your loving owner,
Silviya

---------------------------------------------

Dear Silviya,

I wish I could die now.
Seriously.
Just to prove a point.


Your loving computer,
Marvin.


---------------------------------------------
Dear Marvin,

I love you.

Your loving owner,
Silviya

I need you tonight... cause I'm not sleeping.

And I still can't get over you, are you someone I'll forever miss?

I'm sick.
Again.
I try to stay "home" as long as I can, listening to music and trying to learn stuff.

What I really want, though, is someone's kiss. I don't have a particular someone that I want to kiss. Just someone that doesn't care I am sick. Doesn't care I caugh. Doesn't care he may also get sick by kissing me.

And as I walk from the nearest pub where I had some quick lunch to home I try to remember how many times that has happened to me. I manage to recall two particular instances. As I wonder about it and try to figure out what those two particular people had in common, I find out they actually had a lot in common.

Then I remebered how much one of them meant to me. He meant the world to me, literally. And when we decided ours cannot go on anymore, I remember how hard I took it. Months passed until I was able to walk the streets not thinking about him. Months passed until I was able to have a normal conversation and would actually be able to listen to what people are saying and response accordingly. I was like the bunny in that old joke, that laughed at a certain joke 20 minutes after.

I get back home and my dear Winamp guesses what my thoughts are and plays "Days Go By"

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you.

Now that guy is one of my closest friends. One of those friendships in which the both of you may not have spoken a single word to one another for months, even more, but when you actually have the chance (or the need to), you are able to discuss everything, like you talk everyday. I most certainly claim I love him. Not in the "being in love with him" meaning, but in the "I actually care for him and have a great respect to him, wishing him all the best and would not want to lose his tracks ever." way.

And now to the other guy. Weirdly I remember that the last time I managed to keep him away the same song had come to my mind (wow, I actually use past perfect. I never would have guessed I would ever need that tense :) ). And I felt the same way. It's a good song for letting go. Letting go without having to hate or forget the person. Letting go and still keeping warm feelings towards him/her. Letting go and still having love in your heart for him. Letting go and not flushing away all that you once felt. Letting go and respecting "everything that felt so right and is now wrong, now that the love is gone".

I am not ready to let go yet, but I am convinced it is the only way. It is a step though.

Letting go is not an easy thing.

It's too late to swim back. We're closer to the other side

Anton: "Where's the shore? We're too far out!"
Vincent: "You wanna quit?"
Anton: "We're too far out!"
Vincent: "You wanna quit?"
Anton: "No!"
...
Anton: "How are you doing this Vincent? How have you done any of this? We have to go back."
Vincent: "It's too late for that. We're closer to the other side."
Anton: "What other side? You wanna drown us both?"
Vincent: "You wanna know how I did it? This is how I did it Anton. I never saved anything for the swim back."

Once upon a time...

... a friend of mine who is a windsurfer once told me that I would make a perfect windsurfer myself...
I laughed at him, of course. Cause that is one of the sports I always wanted to try, but would never manage to. Talking about impossible :)



Why did he think so? Because I seem to have the right attitude:

It was great but... so what?

If your pager don't vibe
Then you'll know it's me
Vacation's over, don't take it personally

It's only "uh-uh"
It don't mean nothin'
Hot summer "uh-uh"
A little sweet somethin'
Lose my number
Heat of the moment
It was great, but
So what?
It don't mean nothin'
Its only "uh-uh"

*not missing you*

This little fellow was lost on 12th of August 2007 at about 2 a.m.
I don't miss him a bit.
Just that I was looking through my files and found these pictures of him.
He used to hang on my phone, Silvester.
He was a gift to me by Zoya for 14th of February.
I really liked it.

I lost it while I was with Dimo.
I remember the exact moment when it fell.
I felt that it was RIGHT not to pick it up.

I still feel it was right to leave it there.

Sofia University or something like it....

For some time I've been having this interesting arguement with Dimo. I claim I study at the FMCS(Faculty of Maths and Computer Science.... Not FMI - Faculty of Maths and Informatics), and not in the Sofia University (SU). He says that I make no sense, cause since I study at a faculty of the SU, that means I study at the SU....

Now, how I am to convince him he is wrong?

It turned out (just as I expected) to be quite easy. Unfortunatelly, people who don't study at the FMCS wouldn't quite get my reasonings.

Lets' start with the fact that in FMCS it is a common practice that students teach students. Students that are in their 2nd year teach students that are in their 3rd year. Students in their 2nd year teach a subject, the exam on which they have not yet taken (due to their regular curriculum) to students that are in their 3rd year. I personally don't know if that is allowed anyplace else in SU. Not sure, but I even think it is forbidden.

Let's move on to something else, that I was pointed out during the campaign of getting yourself a room in SU's dorms (actually getting yourself a bed, but that's a whole another matter). It doesn't matter what your grades are, you cannot be in the lists of people that get a room, if you have more than one exam not taken. Which, I looked upn pretty surprised, since in my faculty you are perfectly fine allowed to move on to the next year of your education if you have no more than 2 exams not taken so far... So, I looked up the UNIVERSITY's book of rules and I saw that this rule (of my faculty) is in a direct conflict with the major rules of the university - the university's rules are as simple as this - only one exam. So, you still say I have the right to call myself a student in SU? (well, I AM, but anyway...)
And it gets even more complicated, cause by a (non written) rule you have the right to have two "mandatory" subjects not taken so far and one of the "chose yourself" list.... So we have not one, but three subjects.... Nice!

Our univerity's dean says that everyone has to return the exam sheets not later than 3 days after the exam session is over. Nice. This is prefectly working in his faculty, where there are 5 subjects to chose from for the whole faculty. And is so not working in FMCS, where there are 150 subjects to choose from (each semester that is!) and (almost) everyone can sign in for them... And everyone is - 5 majors, each having students of years 1 through 4, with average of 4 groups each (major) of about 20 people in a group. Now, try to make the schedules of those exams so that everyone could attend their exam and none has exams at the same time (I am not even trying to put the rule "one exam per day") and you only have 20 days to fit in (during the exams session)... Don't even try - it is impossible. And it is impossible not to have a subject before/after the exam session.

....

I can go on forever. Really.
As a most recent prove:

(in Bulgarian, sorry): In the meantime, all of the university's buildings had the signs with the words "Stealing from the University is a disgrace for Bulgaria." on them in the morning.
Now look at the pictures and don't be fooled by the words on top of my faculty:

In front of FMCS there is no such sign. :)

And yep - I study in a yellow building (as a rule madhouses in bulgaria are often refered to as "the yellow building"....

Angelina Crow vs Silviya

A couple of months ago Dimo sent me a few pictures of a certain porn actress that, he said, looke exactly like yours truelly. Needlessly to say I was curious about her.

For a couple of weeks I was bugging him to send me the whole movie. Well, finally he bent over and it is under my possession. The "film" is one of the worst I've seen the "home made" low-quality ones, and the guy she's with is totally disguisting....

But, as I told Dimo, I was not interested in looking at the guy, but at the girl. Well, she's cute. And, in the name of the Force, she's young!!!! I cannot say we look alike, but there is a certain resemblance. If I try I can get her looks. Which I may try as a matter of fact ;)

I shall not be too harsh on Dimo, though. As he said - he hadn't seen me for (over) 2 years.

Now, let the pictures speak:





and some pictures of myself :

And all I want for Christmas...

Is it too much if I ask for this for a Christmas present? What about my birthday....

*speechless*
Really - I always loved the "look at me, I am so Michael Hutchence" look Dave used to have back by the times of "Walking in my shoes". There is something about men and long hair, drug-addictions and sex and alcochol years...

Girls may never admit it, but there has always been this thing about bad guys...

*sigh*

*steals Dave*

*forbids him to EVER grow old*